


Icarus burning

by Itohan



Series: To walk amongst the stars (Star Wars AU’s) [21]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: All but the Jedi and the gods are nameless, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Anakin Skywalker Turns to the Dark Side, Angst, Dark Anakin Skywalker, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Identity Issues, Jedi Temple (Star Wars), Mental Instability, Mentioned Ahsoka Tano, Mentioned Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obsessive Behavior, POV Anakin Skywalker, Prophetic Visions, Tragedy, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 10:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itohan/pseuds/Itohan
Summary: In their eyes shines the reflection of broken wishes only stars have seen. They are force born and reborn eternally in mortal vessels. Their love turns cities to ash, brings death on wherever they step foot on, destroying worlds in the blink of an eye. They should have been gods. Gods could have stopped him from walking down his destined path.But they aren't gods. As the blood coated his hands red, Anakin realized that neither could they ever be human. And so he falls for the girl at the river - bringing along the end of the Jedi all so that she can wear a name.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: To walk amongst the stars (Star Wars AU’s) [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759843
Kudos: 4





	Icarus burning

**Author's Note:**

> **Info about this AU:** The world this story takes place is a world abandoned by it’s gods, struggling in the wake of their deaths. Originally there were only gods who wore names and humans, _the nameless_ , - but after the gods disappeared only humans were left. 
> 
> To right that imbalance _the Jedi_ , once human worshippers of the gods, were granted names by the stars. Leaving them to reincarnate, eternally wearing names left behind by dying gods.
> 
> By the time this story takes place, thousands of circles have passed since the gods died and Anakin, a Jedi, has fallen for a _nameless_ girl.

In her eyes Anakin sees **everything**.  
If he were to reach out towards the endless net of stars across the sky, would he be able to rip them out? The tales of the unspoken are haunting him. So close and yet so far.  
And she... she does not see them.

"When your gaze meets the endlessness, what do you desire? What is it you see?"  
Her voice is full of earnestness as her shaking hands leave his hair. Her cheeks had been coloured red by his kisses and so were her parted lips. So beautiful.

"A name," he answers.

She laughs, pearly white teeth glimpsing at him, and and she brushes his answer away as if it were a leaflet on her shoulder. The only sound in the meadow, drowning out the rushing of the river. "Only dead gods are gifted names. What do you truly see with those cursed eyes of yours?"

His eyes strain, the endless stars blinding his sight and Anakin smiles at her solemnly. "A stolen name so precious it shines brighter than any star. A name to doom us all."

He cannot understand the twisted words floating through his mind, the prophecies hidden behind milky eyes. He wants to share his knowledge, to gift her the promise of a god's name, but no sound leaves his throat. He wants to scream.

**.  
.**

"Why do you Jedi have names," she asks once with annoyance written all over her face, "and we humans do not?"

"We were born with them." It's the first thing they are told at the temple. Each rebirth, each new life, each circle, a Jedi begins, it starts and ends at the temple. The death of the gods, the beginning and the end.

Five thousand circles after their death and Anakin is sitting in this meadow by the side of a nameless girl, worshipping her instead of ancients long gone. Instead of sitting by his soulmates' side. Ahsoka, Obi-Wan and him, one person, one Jedi, during the last circle - three in this. And still he chooses the nameless girl every time, everyday, chooses this meadow.

She rips him back into reality with her chuckle as she brushes a stray curl from her face. "Not stolen?"

"No. No, they are not stolen." Anakin straightens his back and turns his head towards her. "The last gift of our gods, to carry their eternal names, was given to us when the endlessness cast it's net. Us Jedi have been guarding these names since the very first cycle and will do so until the end of times." The words come to Anakin with an ease as if he'd said it thousands of times before.

"I pity you."

"You pity me?"

"You must obey your eternal names. The _gods_ eternal names. It's cruel."  
She glides her hands through the glistening water and Anakin wonders how the it must feel like on her skin. "Us nameless, we are free. We'll live and we'll die. You are..."

Thunder comes closer and the first traces of rain fall out of the sky.

She pulls her hands out of the river, draping her skirt over it. Hiding them from his view.  
"You are forever doomed to this existence. So yes, I do pity you and I do wish you could have been born human - alive. But this isn't how life works, isn't it?"

Anakin looks out to the sky, sees times change and times come. Humans dying, civilizations reborn. The stars whisper to him, enthrall his eyes in their promises of futures, overlaying realities. He closes his eyes to listen to her breathing instead. It's soothing.

His lips twitch. "What if I were only a human disguised as a Jedi?"

When Anakin opens them again, his eyes are full with the mischief that they usually carried with them. The sadness is gone.

"Then I would certainly have married you," she answers.

He lays his lips over hers once more.  
The kiss is just as sweet as the ones before and his heart aches for the next they will share. He loves her. He loves her so much.

**.  
.**

All along the stars were taunting him.  
Two moons have passed since he last saw her and the only vision playing in his mind is of her decaying body. It's the future.

Everything is wrong and nothing is right.

"You are going to die."

"I am not," she laughs and pats him on the shoulder. As if he were a little boy, an insolent child.

"You are!" he screams, pushing off her arm, stepping away from her. "I've seen it in the star's web. You will die just like the sun will rise tomorrow! You will die!"

Her smile fades. "You are serious..."

"Then I'll... I'll accept my doom," she laughs but it's cold and mirthless. "There's nothing I can do about it anymore, not when my fate has already been sealed the second you gazed upon those cursed stars!" Her hands clamp around her dress, shaking. "I'm going to die."

"No," Anakin says. "No!" She is pushed down by the strength of his embrace but he doesn't care. She is still alive. She is still warm.

"You won't die," he promises. "I'll find a way, no matter what it takes, no matter what I must sacrifice."

"Anakin, no. Just let me... just let me lie here in this meadow. But please," she stops. "Hold my hand when the time comes. Let fate take it's course and let me meet the god's embrace. Please. Anakin, promise me! Promise me you'll stay-"

He cannot recognize her. This- this lie must not be real. She would never have chosen to leave him! "It's not real," he whispers and let's go off her, looks down at her in disgust.

It's not real.

When Anakin leaves for the dark caves, the only way to save her, he leaves her in the grass crying. Alone.

"So you've left your human girl behind,” the darkness greets him, cackling. A sound echoing inside the cave like thousands dying, and Anakin hides his ears behind his hands at it's next words. "How _cruel_ of you."

"How do I save her? What must I do? Tell me!" Anakin cries, tears and snot dripping down his face. His body feels broken. Shoulders crushing underneath the weight of a cosmos in his mind.  
He feels her life-force fading, flickering out with every second that passes.

"Tell me!" he begs, falling to his knees. She is almost gone.

"Their lives for hers," the darkness whispers, voice coiling around Anakin's neck. Dredging itself past his hands and into his ears. "Kill them and she shall live. She'll wear an eternal name like you and then, Anakin, your woman will live. Alive by your side."

Anakin feels his hands trembling. Heart beating, constricting, and he knows who is meant. The Temple. The Jedi. His family. He can't- He can't!

Her smile flashes in front of eyes, brighter than any star. Her words of love whispered to him in the rain. Her lips against his. He- He cannot live without her.

The darkness smiles and offers him the destined blade, born out of the god's ashes eons ago for this day. Awaiting the day Anakin would close his hand around it's grip.

"Fulfill your destiny. Save her."

Anakin bows to the darkness but his heart aches.

**.  
.**

"Padmé..." Anakin breathes the name, in and out, as he weeps. Alone in a temple without worshippers, without gods, without a single soul. Just empty. The name reeks of death, of broken twisted destiny. It tastes like ash.

Anakin has made the right choice.

He steps over corpses, not meeting the hollow blackness where their eyes should be.  
Red, everywhere, nothing but red. Walls, columns , tiles...  
All of them are red.

Anakin has made the right choice.

The blood of his brothers and sisters coats his hands, drips down his arms, taunts him. No laughter, no voices in the hallways- Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, everyone, he is never going to see them again. Even the most little ones... They died for her to wear this name and Anakin- Anakin, he...

He screams.

**.  
.**

Their meadow is quiet in the night that Anakin breaks. He has to see her, has to know for himself that he did the right thing by changing fate.

Padmé awaits him by the river where she had lied down to die. Where he left her.

Tears of blood fall down into the grass. "What have you done?" Flower around them die, decaying slowly one by one.

"The right thing," Anakin answers, voice quiet, eyes trained on a blackening dandelion. "The only thing I could have done. I've saved you, Padmé."

"I didn't want saving! I didn't want any of this! I told you-" Padmé sobs. "I told you!"  
Voice blending in and out, foggy in his mind. Echoes hollow, scrambling the last pieces of him. _Death. Death. Death. De-_

"Are you happy?" he interrupts the eternal choir and looks only at Padmé. Only at the face, the lips, the love he committed his deeds for. And Padmé is so beautiful.

_("Are you happy?"_

_The nameless girl swings her hand through the river, splashing the cool water at him.._

_"Yes, I am as happy as the golden morning sun.")_

"No," Padmé answers. "You've stolen my happiness from me! You've took it without asking, ripped it out of my very soul and made me a god. I despise you with every fiber of my being."

Sobs shake through his body when he desperately presses his face into the hem of her blue dress. "I love you! I love you, Padmé. You are all that matters, all that's beautiful. From the flowers blooming in your hometown to the softest song. You are everything to me."

Anakin lifts his hand to grasp her sleeves and his eyes beg her to accept him. To love him.  
They find her face, taking in every detail, memorizing it for eternity. What could this be if not love?

Suddenly her body shakes beneath his hands as hysterical laughter bubbles through her lips. "You don't know what love is," she says. "This, this isn't love! I never wanted this! If you truly knew love you would have let me die, you would have respected my wishes. This name is a burden I did not seek..."

Her voice is hard as steel.

"I will finish what you've started. I will bring the end of the gods, ending their cursed line with you and me.Then mankind will finally be free. Free of you! Free of me! Free of the gods that stole their choices and robbed them of their names."

_("Anakin!"  
"Please don't! Plea-"  
"Don't do this. I beg you, p-please!"  
"Master Skywalker, what are you doing?"  
"You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you."  
"Is she worth the blood on your hands, Master?”)_

Anakin's hands are pushed off by her and he shamefully averts his eyes. There was no love when she looks down upon him, all warmth has disappeared.

As if all of the Jedi resided in her cool gaze.

This has to be his punishment for spilling the blood of his brother's and sisters in exchange for Padmé’s life. Their life-force live on through her, in her every move, every breath she takes. She is all of them, embodied in one single being. When she speaks to him, thousands of voices speak with her, casting their judgement on his actions.

He's lost her. The nameless girl he had seen bathing in the cool water of the river was gone, Padmé is all that's left. Anakin can do nothing to stop the salty tears rolling down his cheeks at the realization.

**_____**

When the time finally comes for Padmé to raise the blade above his heart, she does not look at him. In his last moments Anakin's thoughts go to what he has lost, to the hopes and dreams crushed beneath his fist.

_"No civilization survives the death of it's gods," the endless web of stars tells him._

He smiles when the blade comes sailing down.  
For she will live.  
Live for her people and be their god.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been trying to finish this for so long and today, finally, I got the inspiration! I don’t even remember how I came up with this AU but I am very happy that I did lmao Anyway, I hope you could follow the weird gamble my mind made up :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
